03.18.07

lee1990 Movie Review: 300

Posted in Main, Movie Reviews at 4:10 pm by lee1990

Set testosterone on maximum!!!!

The directors have brought a truly unique look and feel to this historically accurate battle epic about 300 Spartan warriors who face the 1,000,000 strong army of king Xerxes of the Persian Empire. The entire movie was filmed on a sound stage. All background elements, landscapes, animals, and most of the foreground elements were all created digitally. This gives the movie a similar feel to the 30’s serial-based Sky Captain from a few years back, and the ultra-violent Sin City, which was done by the same director. The colors are often muted except for the red of blood and the Spartan cloaks.

As the massive army of Persia advances, a herald arrives at the city gates of Sparta with a fistful of skulls with crowns on them (all the kings that Xerxes has already killed on the campaign. His demands are rather flatly and amusingly rejected in the Spartan style. However, as the invasion is taking place during a religious holiday, King Leonitus cannot take the army to war. So he takes 300 volunteers as his ‘personal bodyguard’ to go for ‘a little walk’, as he explains to the politicians.

Many people of Persian decent have complained about this movie. While it is accurate that the Persian empire was very cruel and barbaric, some of the ways that both the warriors and Xerxes are portrayed do seem a little over the top; elite guards who under their masks are literally as monstrous in appearance as they are in behavior, an executioner who is a bloated monster with blades instead of arms, and a King Xerxes who is portrayed and a gold painted, 7 foot tall, body-pierced freak whose inverted sexuality is strongly hinted at through repeated innuendo.
The portrayal does however reflect the unbelievable arrogance of Persian kings, who quite literally demanded that people cover their mouths when speaking to them, lest they taint the air he breathed.

However, the movie is also accurate about the brutal nature of Spartan culture as well. Newborn boys were indeed inspected, just as portrayed, and if found weak or otherwise inadequate, were tossed away to die. The boys lucky enough to pass the test faced years of brutal military training designed to harden them into merciless killers, a fact that the movie makes no attempt to soften or hide.

The movie has a refreshingly conservative feel to it that reflects on modern times. While the brave Spartan soldiers are fighting the barbarity of Persians, preening and corrupt politicians plot and debate about sending Sparta’s full army to assist the obviously doomed 300. There is also a rather passionate love scene between and married straight couple for once.

A warning however; this movie is not for the squeamish. The tag line is “Prepare for Glory”. It should be “Prepare for Gory”. The depictions of battle with spears and swords is graphically realistic, with blood and gore and limbs and heads flying every which way.

All in all, well worth the time, if just for the spectacular appearance of the movie.
9 of 10.

lee1990 Movie Review: Ghost Rider

Posted in Main, Movie Reviews at 3:48 pm by lee1990

Selling your soul can really screw up your night life.
This is an adaptation of an older comic book dating from the 1960’s. As such, it does not require a lot of brain function, but can still be fun, just like the comic.

The story revolves around stunt bike rider (Nicolas Cage) named Johnny Blaze (why are so many comic book names bad puns?), who in his teenage years sells his soul to the Satan (Peter Fonda (coincidence?) in order to save his father from terminal cancer. Satan keeps his bargain, but kills Johnny’s father in an “accident” at their stunt bike show the very next afternoon. (Talk about the devil being in the details in a contact. Next time, read the fine print Johnny.)

Jump ahead 20 years, Johnny Blaze is now a successful stunt rider of his own. What his crew doesn’t know is that he has been trying to kill himself with his own insane stunts (including jumping the length of a football field). However, it seems that something will just not allow him to be killed.

Re-enter two characters: his girlfriend Roxanne (who cannot seem to wear a shirt she can completely button and is not at least 2 sizes too small), and Satan. It is time for Johnny to pay up, but it’s not his soul that Satan wants; it is his services and the Ghost Rider, a flaming-skulled mercenary rider who collects on Satan’s contracts and hunts down any who escape from hell.

What has escaped from Hell is Satan’s own son Blackheart, a truly rotten chip off of a really rotten block. He can and gleefully does kill anyone he touches by turning them into dessicated corpses. He has recruited three fallen angels who have been transformed into elemental demons represent Earth, Air, and Water.
What follows is a supernatural free-for-all as Johnny must attempt to both free himself from his curse, as well as stop Blackheart from collecting a contract that will allow him to collect 1000 condemned souls from a old west ghost town whose inhabitants long ago sold all their souls to Satan and then destroyed themselves utterly in an orgy of greed and bloodlust. If Blackheart gains this power, he will be able to create Hell on Earth. The contract was hidden by another Ghost Rider, the only one to ever break Satan’s grip and defy him. To make matters worse, Blackheart of course manages to kidnap Roxanne.

The movie is visually spectacular, as to be expected, if a bit predictable. A good way to spend an evening if looking for simple comic book action entertainment, but check your brain at the door.

7 out of 10.