Comments and Movie Reviews
Just don’t go there unless you want the people in your address book to be spammed. I had a relative go there and then I got an email that looked as though he wanted me to join reunion.com so that we could connect. Not a good thing. In fact it is a scummy thing for an internet site to do. Very bad.
HULK SMASH! is a good general description for this fast-paced vision of the story of the comic book Jekyl and Hyde story The Incredible Hulk.
A quick review for those readers who have been on another planet and may not be familiar with the story line, here is a primer. Unassuming scientist Bruce Banner was experimenting with gamma radiation one day, and accidentally received an overdose. As a result, when Banner becomes enraged, he turns into a nearly indestructible, amazingly strong, 10 foot, green-skinned giant called the Hulk. He searches for a cure endlessly so that he can resume a normal life with his lady love, Dr. Betty Ross. Unfortunately, Dr. Ross’ father, US Army General Thunderbolt Ross, is obsessed alternately with the capture or destruction of the Hulk, depending on which version of the story is being told.
The movie assumes all this back story is more or less know to the audience, and concentrates instead on being a fast paced fugitive movie as Dr. Banner again and again is pursued by his nemesis, only to be saved at the last instant by transforming into his meaner, greener self.
The battle scenes are spectacular, and far more frequent that Ang Lees far more cerebral Hulk, which this movie pretends never existed. All throughout, the Hulk also manages to keep a semblance of basic humanity, which makes the audience able to root for what would otherwise be a simple monster. It also helps that, true to form with the comic/cartoons made of the Hulk over the years, this incarnation of the Hulk is able to speak in his usual two-word sentences by the end of the movie.
This movie set up both a sequel and a crossover during the course of the film. At the very end, Tony Stark from Iron Man (played by the same actor no less) shows up and speaks of a special project with General Ross. There is also a brief glimpse of the birth of Hulk’s true arch-nemisis, the gamma mutated genius know only as The Leader. This points to me that there may be an unprecedented cross-over/sequel coming combining both Ironman and Hulk into a single movie.
A entertaining evening, if a bit on the long side.
8 out of 10.
Funny. Period.
The actor who plays agent Maxwell Smart in this screen adaptation of the 1960’s James Bond televison spoof Get Smart is a bumbler worthy of inheriting the late, great Peter Seller’s title as the world’s dumbest and most lucky law enforcement agent.
For those not familiar with the original television series, Get Smart revolves around the conflict between a government agency called Control, and a terrorist organization called Chaos. In the movie version, Max Smart is not even an agent to start. He is an analyst made into a field agent out of necessity after an attack wipes out most of Control.
Duayne Johnson (formerly the pro-wrestler The Rock) also starts as a star agent who plays a pivotal role as the movie unfolds.
The updated plot line follows Controls efforts to stop Chaos from unleashing a nuclear attack, in an up-to-date plot line. The movie also plays homage to one James Bond icon, with a villain who is extremely reminiscent of the legendary James Bond thug Jaws (from Moonraker and other Bond films.
I actually laughed out loud on more than one occasion, a very rare thing for me, so this movie is well worth the admission if laughs are what you seek.
7 out of 10.
M. Night, we barely knew ye. This one may very well bury his career and shows that he has been fully contaminated by the leftist taint in Hollyweird.
The most disappointing thing about this cinematic fiasco is that it could have been so good if all the eco-preaching garbage had been left out. The movie is structured very similarly to Alfred Hitchcocks masterpiece, The Birds, in that it is about a normally benign part of nature that suddenly turns hostile to mankind. In this case, the plant life of New England suddenly begins to emit a toxin that reverses the normal human instinct to self-preserve into an instinctual drive to self-destruct, resulting in suicides by whatever means are most immediately available (one poor shmuck runs himself over with an industrial sized lawnmower in the most graphic scene in the movie.) Our eco-heros discover that of course this is our fault, most likely due to the large number of nuclear plants in New England.
When I discovered I had been duped into watching eco-trash instead of a supernatural thriller, I almost considered demanding a refund. This movie could have been as good a scare movie as The Birds, but M. Night was so concerned with his insipid eco-preaching that he forgot that what made The Birds so frightening was that the homicidal behavior of the seagulls that attacked the town was never explained; it was simply an unexplainable and uncontrollable force of nature.
I have never said this about any film, but do not go see this movie, do not buy this movie, do not rent this movie. If Hollywood is to learn that we do not want this preachy, hysterical eco-trash foisted off on us again and again, we must punish them for making it by giving them flop after flop until they learn.
A perfect 10 on the dud meter.
Art Bell would LOVE this movie.
Things for Indiana Jones take a turn away from the purely mystical to the more sci-fi in this worthy entry in the Indiana Jones quadilogy. To give a clue, the movie starts in Area 51 in 1956 as Russian KGB agents eject Indiana from the trunk of a car (he always seems to start the movie being roughed up in some way).
The agents are led by a female psychic who demands of Indy that he locate an item that he helped to retrieve from the Nevada desert shortly after the end of WW2 (sound familiar?).
After much daring do, Indiana manages one of his death (not to mention probability) defying escapes, only to find that he has escaped into a mock-up town on an atomic bomb test sight. How he gets out of that one is so improbable as to be silly, but I won’t give too much away.
The movie also takes a swipe at the Red Scare that was gripping the country throughout most of the 1950’s, as Indiana is sweated by FBI agents after being rescued for “helping” the KGB. He is also fired from his teaching job due to his suspected “sympathizing”.
Indiana is considering his options when a young man approaches telling him that his mentor, one of Indiana’s oldest friends, has been kidnapped and the boy has the key to what he wants.
It seems that the boy’s mentor was taken because of an artifact he had found in South America near the so-called Nazca lines. The artifact as it turns out is an odd elongated crystal skull.
All parties (KGB and the Indiana bunch) actually share the same goal; return the skull back where it came from - a legendary city of gold. It is said that whoever returns the skull will be granted the use of its immense psychic power. Tying in to this is a statement the evil KGB woman makes about how she will use the skull’s power to influence the youth of the West to “transform you into us”. (Turns out they didn’t need that, just cooperative teachers and Barack Obama. )
The ending is pure Art Bell Coast to Coast AM stuff, but spectacularly done. The villains perish in the usual and appropriately terrible way.
A fun ride keeping with the Indiana Jones tradition.
8 out of 10.
The main character in this movie, Anthony Stark, received a belated but much needed coming of age. Mr. Strark is a super genius weapons developer who is so busy womanizing and partying he has barely noticed as his chief nemesis (played to villainous perfection by a barely recognizable Jeff Bridges) slowly takes over his company.
As Mr. Stark is in Afghanistan testing his latest weapon, a cluster-bomb missile called the Jericho, his convoy is ambushed and he is critically wounded and captured. His captors demand that he build a Jericho for them, but he instead manages to build a powerful battle suit out of junk (call it IronMan Mark 1). Using this powersuit to escape, Mr. Stark has an epiphany and announces that his company will cease all weapons manufacturing.
Mr. Stark returns home and fascinated by his accomplishment in the desert, begins to fashion an advanced version of his powered-armor suit. There are a few comical moments integrated into this, especially as IronMan first attempts to take to the sky.
Eventually his nemesis finds the wreckage of the original armor suit, and an all out fight for control over Iron Man’s power ensues.
The movie has one brief cover-the-kids-eyes moment of sexuality, but all in all would make a good evening’s entertainment. The plot is not overly complicated nor overly simple, and as expected, the visuals and battle scenes are spectacular.
6 out of 10.
This movie was a monstrous dissappointment and a frenzied journey into motion sickness.
The movie follows a group of New York yuppies who find themselves caught up in the battle between a mysterious oceananic behomoth that attacks New York and the military trying desperately (and futilely) to kill it. After the initial attack, the protagaonist receives a call from his girlfriend, who is injured and trapped in her building. The hearty band of yuppies proceeds into the midst of the battle to attempt a rescue before the military is forced to destroy New York in order to kill the creature.
I will give credit where it is due; JJ Abrams made a bold move in attempting to make a monster movie from the first person perspective, and it might have actually worked if the movie had been filmed with conventional camera styles instead of the endlessly herky - jerky handheld camcorder. The intended effect was to place the audience directly with the actors in the midst of the creature’s attack, but all the extra motion makes the movie quite literally difficult to watch.
The 25 million dollar budget was spent largely on the admittedly spectacular visual effects, escpecially the creature itself. The monster is a immense mixture of primate and aquatic traits so massive that skyscrapers fall before it like plaster statues. Like the Godzilla of old, this monster is also completely impervious to all weapons that are used against it. As if the huge monster is not bad enough, it is accompanied by crablike parasites that fall off of it as it moves through the city and begin to attack everything in sight. However, the effect of the parasites venom is so over the top that it seems silly once you get over the shock of it.
An effective job of changing New York into a devastated heap of ruins was done via CGI.
Unfortunately however, the massive effects budget left nothing for actors. JJ Abrams did not have the same luck finding believable and compelling low- rank actors that the makers of Blair Witch project (a far superior first - person perspective, shakey camera movie) had, and the perfrormance is more annoying than compelling. Adding to the lack of believeability is the lack of profanity. While this is meant to keep the movie rating at PG-13, under those circumstances the occassional naughty word would be understandable.
This one is a renter. 5 out of 10.
“More than meets they eye” was the catch phrase for this iconic 80’s cartoon series, and this movie proved to be more than I expected.
I’ll be the first to admit that I was delighted a few years back when I first heard rumors of a live-action movie being made out of this series, but that initially turned to dismay when I heard that Michael Bay had been given the director’s chair for this one. He has produced a series of shallow-charactered explosion-fests ranging from the ghastly Pearl Harbor to the just silly Armeggedon, to the recent flop The Island. My hopes rekindled (justifiably so it turned out) when I learned that Steven Spielberg (E.T., War of the Worlds, Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers) was the executive producer. He is excellent at both story and character, and his hand shows heavily in Transformers.
The plot starts out in Michael Bay style, with an attack on a US base in the Middle East. At first, no one has any idea who attacked, but are equally baffled by the fact that the assailant managed in the course of the attack to hack the US defense computer network in less than ten seconds, a task that would take an Earthly super computer years to accomplish.
As several soldiers flee the massacre into the desert, they are pursued by a scorpion like machine unleashed by their attacker. This eventually leads to the first chance for Mr. Spielberg to show his hand with a humorous sequence in the middle of a fierce battle between the machine and the soldiers which is seamlessly worked into the action. One soldier tries to use a local phone to call for reinforcements, and has to deal with a heavily accented operator who wants a credit card number to complete the call.
Flash back to California. A high school freshman name Sam Witlicky is on his way to get his first car. As they pull into a used car lot, an old yellow Camero pulls in behind them (you have to be quick to notice it, but there is no driver in the car). As the slick salesman (played with comic genius by Bernie Mac) tries to push a lousy car off on Sam, a mysterious, high pitched noise causes all the windows on every car except the mysterious yellow Camero to shatter, leaving the Camero as the only choice. Camero in hand, Sam takes off on phase 2 of his plan, find a nice girl to go with the car.
After a brief encounter with the school jocks, Sam manages to get the girl in his car, which is mysteriously playing various appropriate love songs on the radio, seemingly at random and without Sam’s control.
Later that night, Sam sees his prized possession driving away and takes off in pursuit. At a scrapyard he is amazed to see his car transform into a 25 ft tall robot that sends a signal into the sky.
The next morning, Sam sees what he refers to as Satan’s Camero drive into the driveway. He takes off on bicycle with the driverless Camero seemingly patiently following him down the street. While attempting to evade the robo car in a garage, Sam approaches what he believes to be a police car. This car promptly tranforms into an extremely hostile robot who begins to interrogate Sam before he can escape. As he escapes, he runs (literally) into his dream girl and both wind up in the Camero being chased by the police cruiser with the bad attitude.
After an escape the yellow Camero takes them to an abandoned factory, where the two dazed teens are introduced to the remaining alien machines, who explain that they are autonomous cybernetic lifeforms called Autobots from a planet called Cyberton.
They have come to Earth in pursuit of the Allspark, a power source that created the Cybertronian race. They are in battle for survival with warlike, power-hungry Cybertonian machines called Decepticons. The Allspark must not fall into their hands, or humans and Autobots alike are doomed to extinction. Sam possesses they key to finding the Allspark, whose location is what the Decepticon police cruiser was trying to discover.
Speilberg shows his hand with humor and feeling worked into many places in this movie, including a scene where Sam is searching his room for the key while the curious Autobots inadvertently stomp all over his parents manicured yard.
All in all Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay seem to have played well off each other in this movie. There is action to spare, and humor and feeling placed in enough places to keep the movie from becoming nothing but a tedious series of explosions, always a problem with Michael Bay films.
9 of 10.
